Surprised

For the girl that I can't bring myself to hate...

Surprised that it would be an issue that would make her want me to stop. I know that what I did was wrong. But I always thought what I did was only for lust, and not something that would affect any relationship. Those who were involve, they were not real person, I can't even call them persons, except for the FEU girl who I thought that we'll share something in common.

Now I can take a deep breath. Those bad activities always hunted me. I was always regretful. I knew that I planted a bad seed and it will strike me at any moment. I thought I already passed the judgement in those wrong doings, only to find out that I harvested all the rotten seeds just today. And it turned out that it strike someone that I don't want to lose. Someone whom I can't bring myself to hate. I can't even say sorry to her, because I know that I have sinned against God and not to her. But it's so weird that she thinks I'm not being honest to her. But then, she has a point because it is still a video. There can be emotions involve and all, but still, it's kinda weird. I don't know why, but I guess I'm all over with that kind of evil activities that's why I can't shed any emotions in what I did in the past. I already said my confessions and I know I regretted it fully. I already did. That's why it's all up to her, if she could accept it or not.